Fighting the same old battle
The things I want to do I don’t do, and the things I don’t want to do I do.
This past week, I read some old posts on Dandelions and Daydreams. I’ve had a few good comments on these old posts, but when I read I can’t help but be a bit discouraged. I look back and see that a year ago I was fighting the same battles that I am fighting today. The advice from those old posts still rings true, but I still fight the same old battle…over…and over…and over again.
I know how to keep my house clean. I know how to eat healthy. I know how to budget and get out of debt. I know how to simplify my life. Most of the everyday frustrations that people battle every day, we know what we need to do to end the frustration and win the battle. Why don’t we follow through with action?
I have the answer, but I don’t like it.
No…really…that’s the answer. We have the answer, we know the solution, and we don’t like it.
We avoid implementing a plan hoping that the good [cleaning, eating, budgeting, simplifying, etc] fairy will show up and wave her magic want and end all our frustrations without requiring any work.
I’m still hopeful, but I don’t think there is a good [cleaning, eating, budgeting, simplifying] fairy. If you know of such a creature can you give her my address. Tell her to bring her biggest magic wand.
There is that whole getting over myself thing.
Remember the first sentence of Rick Warren’s book, The Purpose Driven Life, “It’s not about me.”
But I really want it to be about me. I’ve always thought the world should revolve around me, my wants, my needs, my whims. Admit it, you feel the same way about yourself.
All my good intentions seem to go flying out the window when my inner brat stomps her foot and says, “But I just HATE doing dishes.” Or “NO! I’m not going to eat my vegetables! I want chocolate!”
If I don’t do it, who will?
Life should be always lived with 100% effort. At the end of the day, and at the end of my years, I want to be able to honestly say, “I did my best.” I shouldn’t expect someone else to fight my battles for me, and I know that they won’t go away if I just ignore them–I tried that already.
I am responsible for fighting my own battles, just as you are responsible for fighting your own battles. Yeah, I’m married. Yeah, Brenton contributes to the mess, encourages me to eat another brownie, likes to spend money, brings home clutter, and I can’t control his actions. I can’t worry about his battles. Ultimatly the decision is up to me.
I guess it’s time to put on my armor and show up at the battle field.
September 22nd, 2008 at 4:12 pm
Yes you’re right the fairy ain’t coming. But don’t beat yourself up. Then you’ll never get to THAT PLACE. I see THAT PLACE for me better than I ever have. It’s coming by knowing it’s step by step; and I have tried to fill voids with food, stuff, and activities. I’m looking more and more to the voids and asking our Father in Heaven to show me how He will fill my voids.
Guilt and condemnation just make it worse. Please look up…ask Him. I think He has a beautiful surprise for you. I know He has for me. He doesn’t have favorites among His children.
September 23rd, 2008 at 7:31 am
flylady.net - believe me, this is the answer…
September 24th, 2008 at 9:42 am
@Kay–I know that perfection isn’t to be had this side of heaven, but sometimes I feel like I’m not even making progress. Actually when I look around, I’ve made quite a bit of progress it’s just been little bitty steps at a time. Coming on so gradually that I don’t see it. It’s like looking in the mirror and being surpised that I look 7 months pregnant! It just happens a little bit every day.
@Catharine–I’ve tried Flylady and she has a lot of good ideas, but I’ve never been able to get the system to work for me long term. I tend to get thrown off of my habits on Saturday and Sunday when B is home. Of course part of that is probably because I try to have too many routines in a day.