The Center for Disease Control has released a list of symptoms of bird flu. If you experience any of the following, please seek medical treatment immediately:
1. High fever
2. Congestion
3. Nausea
4. Fatigue
5. Aching in the joints
6. An irresistible urge to poop on someone’s windshield.
“Women can be fascinated by a four-hour movie with subtitles wherein the entire plot consists of a man and a woman yearning to have, but never actually having a relationship. Men HATE that. Men can take maybe 45 seconds of yearning, and they want everybody to get naked. Followed by a car chase. A movie called ‘Naked People in Car Chases’ would do really well among men.”
–Dave barry 1995
This quote was in my social psych book in the section discussing gender and sexuality. That…In a nutshell…is the rest of the story
What if the Hokey Pokey really is what it’s all about?
This semester ended like a firework doused with water. I just sort of fizzled and went out. My brain and body are exhausted, and I am well in need of a break. My last final was a sad affair. I couldn’t push myself any more so I stared off into space for two hours, fumbled my way through the essays and went home. For consolation, Brenton took me out to eat at Chick-fil-a. On the way home we stopped at the book barn and spent our book budget for the year.
Last night was fun. We went to Papacitas with a bunch of people. Afterwards we went to walmart and got sidetracked at the what-a-burger car show. After looking around there, we found our way to walmart. We picked up what we needed and came back to campus. From there we moved our stuff to the village center and watched Independence Day.
This post is sort of rambling, so i will add a few quotes to help you understand my last few weeks at school…
“After Mid-terms, I had to sacrifice the Bible for Chisholm.”
David Eaton
Stan: “”What else would you do with a sheep:
Me: “Well, What I’m thinking of involved cool whip and a weed eater…”
The comment that left Bear Speechless
“Can’t you see Bud Austin in a maid uniform going from door to door knocking and saying ‘housekeeping’?”
fyi “housekeeping” is best said in a very high pitched voice with a foreign accent.
me in an conversation about housing retreats in Thomas hall over the summer
“Cara, we would make a horrible married couple. I’m too stubborn for you, and you’re too slow for me.”
Cara and me discussing the qualities of potential mates
“God is Freaky”
Lily
me: Oh, so you’re that kind of girl.
someone else: a very manly type girl
“Ricky, I think we have thoroughly determined that I am not a man.”
Me to Ricky after I fell on my butt in a ‘man contest’
Don’t name a pig (chicken, cow, lamb or goat) you plan to eat.
Country fences need to be horse high, pig tight, and bull strong.
Life is not about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well
you bounce.
Keep skunks and lawyers at a distance.
Life is simpler when you plow around the stumps.
A bumble bee is faster than a John Deere tractor.
Trouble with a milk cow is she won’t stay milked.
Don’t skinny dip with snapping turtles.
Words that soak into your ears are whispered, not yelled.
Meanness don’t happen overnight.
To know how country folks are doing, look at their barns, not their
houses.
Never lay an angry hand on a kid or an animal, it just ain’t helpful.
Teachers, Moms, and hoot owls sleep with one eye open.
Forgive your enemies. It messes with their heads.
Don’t sell your mule to buy a plow.
Two can live as cheap as one if one don’t eat.
Don’t corner something meaner than you.
You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar, assuming you want to
catch flies.
Man is the only critter who feels the need to label things as flowers or
weeds.
It don’t take a very big person to carry a grudge.
Don’t go huntin’ with a fellow named Chug-A-Lug.
You can’t unsay a cruel thing.
Every path has some puddles.
Don’t wrestle with pigs: You’ll get all muddy and the pigs will love it.
The best sermons are lived, not preached.
Most of the stuff people worry about never happens.
The Ten Commandments display was removed from the Alabama Supreme Court
building. There was a good reason for the move.
You can’t post Thou Shalt Not Steal, Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery and
Thou Shall Not Lie in a building full of lawyers
and Politicians without creating a hostile work environment
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