As the Deer…

It’s a quiet day, for this one moment, there aren’t any cars driving by. The space heater has turned off, not even the refrigerator is running. I stop to listen and my ears ring–straining to hear, something. In this deafening silence, I am astonished to realize that such quiet can exist within the city.

Yet there is one place in this silence, where there is no quiet. My soul feels restless and peevish. Nothing satisfies me right now, but I am wanting of nothing. I would like to go out, but I have been sick all weekend and I think it would be wiser to stay indoors.

I have had too much tea to be comforted by it today.

My thoughts flit from one idea to another unable, or unwilling to settle long enough to accomplish anything.

Whenever I feel like this, I usually have quite a long to-do list and no motivation to act. In my foolishness, I resist the one thing that I know will restore balance and bring back peace and joy to my soul. Like a child who refuses medicine, I resist picking up my Bible.

Just a few moments of fellowshipping with the Creator, that’s all I need. I know that and still I resist.

I open up the book and flip through, looking for a good place to read. True to my mood, I cannot settle on anything. My restless spirit encourages me to read in Ecclesiastes:

“Meaningless! Meaningless! Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless.” (1:2)

It suites my mood, but even the teacher in Ecclesiastes concluded that the duty of man is to “Fear God and keep his commandments.” (12:13)

And I am reminded of another Bible author who often felt peevish, restless, and depressed.

“Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.”
(Psalm 42:11)

I know the answer for this emptiness I feel inside.

As the deer pants for streams of water,
so my soul pants for you, O God.
(Psalm 41:1)

Deer Silhouette by Zest-pk

photo by Zest-pk, CC-By

Call out for Recipes: Venison
Kootenai Wildlife Refuge Photowalk
Spontaneous camping

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4 Responses to “As the Deer…”

  1. zippy Says:

    It’s so frustrating that we resist the only answer to the restlessness! Glad I’m not the only one to do this! ;)

  2. Carol Says:

    Thank you for todays post.

  3. Sunny Daydreame Says:

    @ zippy, you are certainly not alone. The frustrating things is that I don’t just do it once, I can’t seam to learn.

  4. Sunny Daydreame Says:

    @ carol–I’m glad you enjoyed my post. It was written from the heart.

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