Facing Fears — Dandelions and Daydreams

A year-and-a-half ago, if you had asked me what my 3 greatest fears are, My answer would have been:

Childbirth
Surgery (or specifically wisdom teeth extraction)
blowing out my knees.

A year ago I gave birth, with no pain medication, to a sweet baby boy. Midway through the birth, I looked at the doctor and said, “You know, this is kind of uncomfortable.” If I hadn’t faced that fear, I never would have known the amazing love that washed over me the first time I held my son. One of the first things I thought after giving birth was, “Maybe now I can get my wisdom teeth out.”

In September, I convinced myself that wisdom teeth extraction couldn’t be worse than a 2 day migraine starting every 3 days. My life was being stolen from me by those migraines. My weeks, over the past year have been a constant cycle of migraine and recovery. I scheduled an appointment for my wisdom teeth extraction and on November 12, I faced that fear with courage (and a librivox recording of Peter Pan).

You know, I survived. I found out that the “good” drugs make me feel horrible. When I come face to face with a monster, my courage stood, and when courage failed, prayer and nitrous oxide are wonderful relaxation tools.

Eighteen wonderful days passed without a migraine, and when I finally got one on Monday, it wasn’t so bad that I couldn’t function. During those 18 days, I started a gym membership and began running. For a long time, I have dreamed of being able to run and run and run without getting out of breath or getting tired. My goal is to run Bloomsday 12K in May 2010, and I would like to run a 1/2 or full marathon by the end of next year. This is doublly significant because let’s face it runners injure their knees and exercise has been one of my consistent migraine triggers.

At the rate I am going, I’m either going to have to find some more fears or start living my life. Or both.

Taking down monsters only to find out that they are paper tigers is kinda fun.