I’ve never met a craft I didn’t like. Yes, I am a craft junkie. I love to gather all the supplies, plan out patterns, pick out colors. The thought of starting a new project makes me feel a bit giddy. At the end of the project, I love the satisfaction of knowing that I could do it again if I wanted. I’ve never met a craft I didn’t like.
Until now.
In 7th grade I was looking through my mom’s fabric stash (See there is a genetic component to hoarding fabric). The pink fabric in the center, my mom bought when I was a little girl. She intended to make a blue and yellow and pink braided rug for me (I come by this craft addiction honestly). She never even got started (procrastination–I come by that honestly too). I took up her banner and started braiding. For 14 years, I’ve carried this project, unfinished.
In the past 5 years, I have donated or threw away probably half of the stuff we owned (maybe more). I actually got rid of a garbage bag full of fabric strips all wound up ready to braid for this rug. I kept looking at this ball of braid that I had done through high school, carried with me to college, moved with us 5 times in the past 5 years, this rug is practically part of the family.
After finishing my crazy quilt, I picked up my ball of braid and began lacing…
and lacing…
and lacing…
I don’t get to savor the feel of the fabric or pick out a new color combination. I don’t get to plan a new design. I don’t even get to tear up strips of fabric or cut tiny scraps to leave all over the floor. The ball of braid represents hours of mindless braiding, probably while watching TV. The almost welcome mat-sized rug represents hours of mindless lacing. There is no joy in this.
I know the rug is supposed to lay flat and lacing it brings out the worst in my perfectionism. There is no joy in this. I’ve thought about wadding the whole thing up and chucking it in the garbage. There is no joy in this. I have carried this thing around with me for too long, unfinished. Mom says I should keep working, to build character. There is no joy in this. I’ve thought about rolling it up in a ball and carrying it around for another 14 years. Then I could feel guilty about not finishing it. There is no joy in that.
Then I think about the joy of a finished project. I keep on with the endless lacing, just to feel the satisfaction of knowing I could do it again…if I wanted. I put rug making behind me and pick up another unfinished project.
Just when I am ready to give up rug braiding forever, I wonder if it could be more interesting with different fabrics or if I followed a pattern. I hate to admit failure, and for a craft junkie, not falling in love feels like failure.
“What do I do with my life now?” The house is clean. Our plan is working. What can I do after Messy Room Syndrome?
I took three days to just think about my future. I have wasted so much of my life already fighting this battle, I don’t want to waste another minute.
FOCUS
The key that brought me into this new situation was learning to focus on just one thing. I know I need to carry that habit forward. Flylady says, “Focus makes me fabulous.” Dave Ramsey calls it “gazelle intensity.” I just know it gets the job done.
Maybe instead of trying to do everything in balance all the time, I should focus my intensity on on project. If you look at a day or a week in my life, it may look out of balance, but over the course of a year or 5 years or a lifetime a pattern of balance will emerge from the periods of focused intensity. What’s more, the periods of focus will result in goals met and dreams accomplished.
What’s the next big thing?
The next thing that has been irritating me for a while is the extra 35 pounds of fat I am carrying around. This is Fitness Feburary in my house. I’m setting up my own at home Biggest Loser Ranch and working to lose this extra weight and built some muscle. Hopefully it won’t take me quite as long to declutter my body as it took to declutter my house.
Hi my name is Sunny and I’m a messy. Flylady would call me a SHE (Sidetracked Home Executive). I’m not lazy, I just distract myself rather than making the decision of where to start. I’ve never been a cleanie. I was not BO (Born Organized). I call it Messy Room Syndrome–a genetic tendency towards disorganization, difficulty making decisions, and a love of projects and crafts. The combination spells disaster. That and lots of unfinished projects.
Wiggles, on the other hand, I think he is BO. Born on his due date, first smile at 6 weeks, rolled over at 2 1/2 months, first tooth at 6 months, crawled at 6 months, walked at 13 1/2 months… He thrives on order. Even as a little bitty baby I could tell the difference in his disposition when the house was clean compared to when the house was messy. At 9 months, he started helping unload the dishwasher. His job is silverware. After every meal I hand him a wet wipe and he washes his hands before proceeding to wipe down his high chair tray. Somewhere way back in the family line there must have been a recessive BO gene. Wiggles got it.
My mom told me to foster that cleanie instinct in him. I promised to do my best.
I used to wonder what life would be like living in a clean house. After I found Flylady, I went on a 5 year decluttering binge. I could see gradual changes in my home, but something still hadn’t clicked. I was quite distraught after my Birthday decluttering. I could only find a few things to part with.
“I’m running out of stuff to declutter” I complained.
“That’s wonderful,” my sweet husband replied.
“But the house still isn’t clean.”
Only then did Brenton let me in on a little secret, “You know, you might actually have to start cleaning instead of just getting rid of stuff.”
Oh how I loathed the thought, but I knew he was right. I began looking for a system that works for me. My root problem is not that I am lazy, but that I have a hard time deciding where to start working. I look at a room and feel overwhelmed. Instead of deciding where to start, I find a book or pick up the computer and distract myself from the stress.
Brenton was reading the parenting book Dare to Discipline which suggested using rewards to motivate children. Now, we have a chore chart posted on the fridge. Brenton and I have 4 daily jobs each and we get our pay every 2 weeks. We are paid per the jobs completed and if all the jobs are completed for 14 days, we get a small bonus pay.
For a month, the house has been clean. Brenton’s mom came to visit and we did a quick clean the night before but nothing as tiring or stressful as my usual marathon of hypocrite housecleaning before company arrives.
While she was here, she helped us take care of some nagging projects. When she left, I looked around the house and said, “What do I do with my life now?”
The house is clean. Our plan is working. What can I do after Messy Room Syndrome?
Anything I want!
In 7th grade I was looking through my mom’s fabric stash (See there is a genetic component to hoarding fabric). The pink fabric in the center, my mom bought when I was a little girl. She intended to make a blue and yellow and pink braided rug for me (I come by this craft addiction honestly). She never even got started (procrastination–I come by that honestly too). I took up her banner and started braiding. For 14 years, I’ve carried this project, unfinished.